Alexa's chat about flowers

Alexa: I might grab some flowers on the way home. Daisies or Daffodils or something fucking cheery. Since i maintain those are happy flowers. Like sunflowers. They say "HELLO. CHEER UP MOTHERFUCKER. I AM HERE TO BRIGHTEN YOUR *DAY*".

Well this chat just brightened my day!

Because Emily Told Me To

Me: And now I have to go to bed. Because I have a confession. I have to work tomorrow.

Emily: WHAT

Me:at the coffee shop

Emily: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

Me: ...yes.

Emily: ALEXA NO
YOUR SOUL
IT WAS CRUSHED ONCE BEFORE THERE

Me: BABY NEEDS A PAYCHECK

Emily: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHhh

Me: So Baby will go back there, until Patrick Swayze comes to say "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!"
...wait. Fuck.

Emily: LOL

Me: Regardless, I needs dollarz.
So I'll report in tomorrow about it. I'll even blog.



And on that note....bed.

iamamiwhoami - WE HATE YOU

Emily: ALEXA
Alexa: yes?
Emily: ALEXA
Emily: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rpD_eclfTY
Emily: WATCH THAT
Emily: IT'S CREEPY
Emily: THAT IS A NIGHTMARE IN YOUTUBE FORM
Emily: It's apparently a viral campaign for some artist "yet to be revealed"
Emily: Video #6
Emily: CREEPY I AM SCARED
Alexa: OKAY. I DIDN'T EVEN GET LIKE. 10 SECONDS IN
Emily: FINISH IT
Alexa: I am afeared
Emily: GOOO
Emily: I am here, digitally holding your hand
Alexa: lol
Alexa: ok
Emily: 0:33
Emily: I'm gonna have nightmares
Alexa: obvs
Alexa: terrified
Alexa: Why? Why? WHY?
Emily: I need to know who is behind this
Emily: so I can hate the proper person.
Alexa: You mean it isn't the work of Satan?
Alexa: Okay. AWFUL
Alexa: I have to shower, but when you find out who did this, TELL ME

Alexa: That shower cleansed that video from my soul

TOTALLY AMAZINGLY AWESOME

Emily (11:58:48 PM): YOU KNOW AN OLYMPIC MEDALIST
Alexa (11:58:58 PM): I shalll blog in the morning
Emily (11:59:04 PM): NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Emily (11:59:08 PM): IN THE MOMENT

And here I am, blogging in the moment.
CHARLIE AND MERYL WON SILVER!!! I am SO PROUD of them and it was an amazing performance and GO USA!

How many blogs can I start (and not finish)?

Emily: I'm trying to hold myself accountable with Krav/training now
Emily: as in, http://emily-2010.blogspot.com
Emily: I look like a slacker if I don't do something for a few days now
Alexa: OH HAI. For realz-while I don't Krav, this is a good idea because I am a lazy shit and shouldn't be
Emily: I wonder how long it'll last, though
Emily: we fail at our other blog
Emily: ...and this conversation should go on it.
Alexa: Obvs. But I popped the 2010 cherry thank you very much
Emily: That you did.


PS: I'm going to Maryland for 10 days (leaving tomorrow morning) and I packed a small bottle of Tapatio in my suitcase. I don't trust my small-town stores to have it there. Priorities.


Alexa: I'm so proud of us. 2 entries in 2010 and it's only Jan 6th
Alexa: So far, so good.

We're going on a cruise in early 2010

Me: Alexa
Me: I officially call it:
Me: we are a Duo
Me: a cinema-worthy duo
Alexa: Done.
Alexa: I cannot out-call that call

ALEXA IS GOING TO PARIS ON FRIDAY

Me: Remind me when you're leaving on Fri
Me: so I don't hit you with 50 international texts over the weekend
Alexa: lol
Alexa: werd
Me: One full week?
Alexa: yup
Alexa: I like the idea of lounging through the day
Me: Are you going to Paris proper?
Alexa: yup
Me: PLZ LOUVRE FOR ME
Alexa: Oh GOD I will
Alexa: Multiple times
Me: and eat delectable pastries
Me: and good cheeses
Alexa: And drink good wine
Me: Eiffel Tower it up once
Me: WRITE MY POSTCARD AT THE LOUVRE OR EIFFEL TOWER
Alexa: Promise
Me: Those are my vicarious requests
Alexa: No worries-consider it done

We really need to blog more

Alexa: My parents bought a garbage can with this automatic lid that opens when you wave your hand over it.
Me: oooh
Alexa: It makes me feel like a Jedi
Alexa: Or a wizard

Words of Truth

Alexa: So I'm serving coffee, and there are dumbass execs at NBC who greenlight shit like "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here"?
Alexa: HOW IS THIS FAIR?

War of the Infomercial Spokesmen (Fans)

Auto-response from Alexa: Watching the Slap Chop commercial with our friend, Vince, really really makes me smile
Emily: TEAM BILLY MAYS
Alexa: hee hee
Emily: SCREW HEADSET VINCE
Alexa: I LOVE VINCE
Alexa: BACK THE HELL OFF
Emily: BILLY MAYS HERE
Alexa: Vince doesn't shout
Emily: BILLY MAYS HERE
Alexa: Vince is going to make America skinny, one slap at a time
Emily: you're gonna love his nuts
Alexa: LOL
Emily: fettuccine, linguini, bikini.
Alexa: Seriously
Alexa: Vince is hilarity

DON'T JUDGE US

Alexa: I also love the Tool Academy
Emily: ME TOO
Alexa: HOW did it take so long for ANYONE to come up with this idea?
Emily: I KNOW
Alexa: It's BRIL
Emily: HAHAHAHAHA
Emily: LOVE that someone is finally calling them out
Alexa: SERIOUSLY
Emily: omgwtf @ the 2 girlfriends guy
Emily: his hair is also tooltastic
Alexa: I HEART HIM AND HIS HAIR
Emily: Celebrity was a DOUCHEY DOUCHE
Alexa: OH LORD
Emily: CLARENCE
Emily: F U
Emily: F U SO HARD, "CELEBRITY"
Alexa: Oh Rob too, the "Power Tool"
Emily: ...I should not be this passionate about this topic.
Alexa: lol
Alexa: You shouldn't
Alexa: And yet...
Alexa: The one with the funny name-Matsuflex
Alexa: AKA RYAN
Emily: HAAHAHAHA
Alexa: Dude
Emily: MATSUFLEX
Alexa: What a tool
Emily: YES
Alexa: GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW
Emily: ME TOO
Alexa: It's reassuring that while we may be single for an indeterminite amount of time, we will never date tools.
Emily: for sure
Alexa: Any variety of tools. Ever.
Alexa: Or at least, at this degree of toolishness
Emily: yes
Alexa: However, we should also take a moment to acknowledge our too long discussion of Tool Academy

Emily: "Tool Academy" is a new label on our blog
Alexa: AHAHAHA

Alexa: 2 tools, 1 badge.
Emily: ~suspense~
Alexa: Now I have to see who stays
Emily: TELL ME
Emily: WHO IS UP?
Alexa: ~commercial~
Alexa: To go home? Loser, slacker tool with no job, ambition or personality vs. Naked Tool AKA Matsuflex AKA Ryan AKA Admits to Owning Man Panties
Emily: BRILL
Alexa: Tool With Ridic Hair/2 girlfriends/a tattoo above his..ahem...package that says "KUNG FU MASTER" and the Tool Who Is Tinier Than I am made it through
Alexa: I really should like, liveblog/recap this shit
Alexa: This is comedic gold
Alexa: It'd be like recapping an episode of "Rock Of Love" with less boobs and chance of VD

ALEXA IS COMING TO VISIT ME

YES. THAT IS RIGHT. Alexa has booked a flight to Los Angeles for February 27 - March 6.


Alexa: I AM GOING FIRST CLASS BIATCH

Me: DO IT
Alexa: Really?
Alexa: are you sure?
Alexa: AM I SIPPING CHAMPAGNE IN FIRST CLASS?


Now I have a few weeks to start a list of things Alexa has to see, as she prepares her tourist ideas to explore as well.


Alexa: Talk to you a lot later when we can compulsively plan every second
Alexa: And then throw it all out the window when I get there

A glimpse into our intelligent conversations

Me (5:24:20 PM): you cougar
Alexa (5:24:23 PM): I KNOW
Alexa (5:24:28 PM): I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF
Alexa (5:24:31 PM): MAKE IT STOP
Me (5:24:35 PM): PLZ CAN THIS BE BLOGGED?
Me (5:24:55 PM): (I mentally pronounced that as "blogg-ed," like Shakespeare)
Alexa (5:25:00 PM): HAHAHAHA

Food dilemma

Alexa (5:10:35 PM): I'm hungry?
Me (5:10:46 PM): me too?
Alexa (5:10:49 PM): But we have like, no food?
Me (5:11:01 PM): I had coffee, cereal (CHEERIOS, but generic), and rice + steamed broccoli today
Alexa (5:11:10 PM): I long for Taco Bell?
Me (5:11:12 PM): OMGGGGGGGGGG
Me (5:11:17 PM): I ALWAYS LONG FOR TACO BELL
Me (5:12:29 PM): except, I'm feeling healthy from my earlier food?

It Occurs To Me

It occurs to me that I haven't updated in like FOREVS.

So lets go back. Wwaaaayyyy back. To Election day.
I voted and didn't get a sticker. I was pissed.
--That's the end of that story.

My cat, Mouse, is staring at me in a way that makes me wonder if she'll try to kill me while I sleep. She has more toes than a normal cat, like Ernest Hemingway, and it's entirely possible she could do it.

I have a crush on my ballroom dancing teacher. I also just generally love ballroom dancing. It's good fun and I'm good at it.

And one last thing-I saw the New James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace. Daniel Craig is gorgeous. Like I said to Emily--

Me: /go see James Bond

Emily: ok

Me: James Bond is HOT

Emily: duh

Emily: last one was amazing

Me: Like "feel free to climb up me and have your way with me Mr Bond because if anything, I'll help/encourage you and not be all "I AM AN ICY BIATCH" because you is SEXY"

Emily: oooooooooooooooooooooooooh

Me: with his pretty blue eyes

Anyway. I've got a few stories from the coffee shop/my life and I promise promise to share tomorrow. But right now, it's some IRON CHEF BIATCH.
werd

Um...duh

Me: Wow

Me: That's bananas

me: B A N A N A S

Emily: love you

Me: Duh

No really. I know. I IS AWESOME.

You are too.
On that note-watching Law and Order Criminal Intent, because it is also awesome.

The Emmy's will only be absurd once. Unless you tape them

Emily: Do I really wanna end my House-a-thon for the Emmys in 10 mins?

Me: hm...I don't know

Me: I say maybe go for a bit and then you can always come back

Me: I mean, House will be there. The Emmy's will only be absurd once

Emily: lol

Emily: k

Emily: BLOG ABOUT THE AMEX

Me: lol

Me: OKAY

And here we are, blogging about the AmEx.

So about a week ago I was working at the coffee shop when this dude came in. It was raining, thanks to Hurricane Ike. (and on a sidenote there, i went golfing the day before and man oh man did I get soaked. I mean, not like a little bit wet but like, totes sopping, dripping wet. It made going to Meijers WICKED COLD. Nay, freezing. Just thought I should share)

So. Rewind a bit, to Sunday when it was rainy wet and Ike was raining like whoa. This guy came in with his son and bought a coffee (of some kind, it's been a week-I don't really remember transient details) and a hot chocolate for his son (but I do remember that). It was about 7 min to go in the fourth quarter of the Lions game-Man was that embarrassing-anyway. To make this story a bit shorter, he paid with an AmEx.

An AmEx black card.
Whoa.

So that's pretty much my story. Nutty, eh?

P.S.-They are made of titanium and feel funny. So there's that.

And there you have it...

A: This is going to be effing sweet
A: I also think this will fill the void in our lives
A: That big gaping void that basically is our life

This was all Alexa's idea

A: You know, we should blog
A: It'd be like reality tv, with words

A: I think this will be great
E: me too