So. Things.

Since the last time I was here, things have changed considerably.
I went to Washington DC with a friend for a job fair which should have convinced me to move.

It didn't.

I continued to work at the coffee shop, get rejected from various grad programs (all of which were super expensive AND super exclusive) and then. And then.

Well, two "and then's".

First off, I turned 24 years old. I'm SO ANCIENT LOLZ. But still. Another birthday.

AND THEN. (this gets capital letters)

I GOT FIRED. F I R E D FIRED.

Since then I've been looking for employment, running errands for my mom a la a personal assistant and...stuff? I don't even know.

But I'll blog here more. Promise. ;)

IT'S PUMPKIN SEASON

I'm sitting here drinking my glorious pumpkin spice coffee beverage from Starbucks. THE TIME HAS COME.

That is all.

Long Time, Big Moment

I've got a lot to write about, albeit some of it more interesting than other parts of it.

More importantly, I had a big moment the other day.

And without further ado-here it is.

If I don't get into a grad school which requires me to move out of state and therefore, out of my house in MI and quit my job at the coffee shop, I'm quitting. I know it's a long way away, but I will not work past December 31.
It's a small concession, a potentially lame revelation-but I think, especially as of late, it's possibly the best decision I've made in a while.

So there's that. I think it's pretty brilliant. Even if it scares me a little.

Because Emily Told Me To

Me: And now I have to go to bed. Because I have a confession. I have to work tomorrow.

Emily: WHAT

Me:at the coffee shop

Emily: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

Me: ...yes.

Emily: ALEXA NO
YOUR SOUL
IT WAS CRUSHED ONCE BEFORE THERE

Me: BABY NEEDS A PAYCHECK

Emily: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHhh

Me: So Baby will go back there, until Patrick Swayze comes to say "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!"
...wait. Fuck.

Emily: LOL

Me: Regardless, I needs dollarz.
So I'll report in tomorrow about it. I'll even blog.



And on that note....bed.

2010 Bitches!

And I now will pop the cherry on the 2010 posting for this blog.

A few things-Christmas was delightful. I received a GPS to let me know where I am going while driving, which is nice. Especially since I tend to be clueless when driving. I hope it's sort of a metaphor for my life-while before I generally was lost, now I have some sort of direction.

On December 30, 2009 I had my last day of employment at the coffee shop. I had put in my 2 weeks notice, and it all came down to that fateful Wednesday. We should note that it was fantastic. While the job that I was hoping to get has sort of changed (a long story for an entry that isn't this one), I think this is the 2010 kick in the ass to change my life. Whether it be a new job, grad school or whatever. I need something else.

And on that note-your turn Emily. Pop that 2010 cherry. It's delightful, I swear.

I Promise

I Promise to update this blog at least every other day. They might not be funny, they might not be long, but I will update.

So we'll start with this brief, yet to the point observation.

I work at a coffee shop with a drive thru. I'm perpetually amazed that when people pull into this drive thru, they stare at the menu as though it's written in Chinese. They then mumble their order into the menu board and act totally and utterly confused and/or incredulous when I say things like "I'm sorry, that was a Grande Mocha with No Whip, right?" and come to find out it's a small coffee with cream.

Maybe if you spoke above a mumble and had any kind of a clue, we would be able to assist you in a timely fashion. I mean, in a hypothetical perfect world.

And that is the first of the promised updates...

A brief recap of things I have done

AKA shenanigans

So Friday I went to work not knowing what awesome sorts of things would befall me.
And by "awesome" I clearly mean "THEY DON'T PAY ME ENOUGH FOR THIS SHIT"

So. There is an employee at the delightful coffee shop I work at named....Scotty. For the fact that he's Scottish. And to protect the vaguely innocent. Moving on.
Scotty is useless. It took FOREVER to get him trained to do anything, like making the drinks OR brewing coffee (which you wouldn't think takes a rocket scientist, but on the other hand....)

The owners' mother came into work that day to generally mess with my sense of well being, psyche and rearrange the entire shop. I spent my day doing things like alphabetizing the coffees, tins of tea and making "Valentine's Day" baskets with the newly alphabetized products. All while trying to run the shop basically single handedly, as Scotty is as productive as a...I can't think of anything clever. But he doesn't do jack except brew coffee and make lattees. I spent my entire day trying to make 2 bagel sandwiches. I never got that far.

I also forgot to mention that it's a whopping 9 degrees. BELOW ZERO. The high point of the day was me trying to wash the windows (on the outside) and it all freezing. Scotty took a photo of me with his camera phone, thinking he was HILARIOUS. My face is all screwed up with what could be mistaken as concentration. In reality I was trying to blow him up with my mind. Much to my dismay, it didn't work.

In vaguely related news to the coffee shop, I have an epic crush on one of the other employees. He's 18. Hence Emily's previous post and the "cougar" comments. He's tall. That's all I have to say about that.
I also work with him tomorrow. So there's that.

Snow of Doom

Here in Michigan, we're due to get a storm. And of course it isn't just a bit of a snow storm, it's the storm of the century. It's the Snow of Doom. It's the epic amount of snow that will dwarf all snowfalls that have come before it. It's the kind of snow, that according to the local news channels, will make you run in circles screaming "OH MY GAWD WE ALL GON' DIE". Yeah. It's that epic.

The icing on the cake? I'm due to work from 9:30 to 5 at the coffee shop I work at. I plan on bringing a couple of books and the puzzle page from the newspaper because I sincerely expect everyone in their right mind to stay inside as best they can.

I shall report in sometime tomorrow, if only to laugh hysterically as we don't get the 12 inches of snow expected, but really like...a dusting.

I shall cackle I say. Cackle.

Wall-E

I'm sitting at home watching Wall-E and it occurs to me.

I want a robot.

Now that I've got that out of my system, let's move on.

Last week at the coffee shop a friend of the customer I was serving referred to me as "the help". Like, her friend was all "Hey how is it going? Is R or J here? (R and J being my boss) No? Oh well—I'll have a grande nonfat sugar bear (or whatever). And then her friend is all "Who are R and J?" and the first lady is all "Oh I just chat with them when they're here—we have conversations about business" and the second lady is all "Wow. You must be here a lot if you're on a first name basis with the help."

And I was like "Lady, your housekeeper hates you. The I'll-Kill-You-In-Your-Sleep kind of hates you". I know it's wrong to assume that she even has a housekeeper, but you know she does. And you know that her housekeeper hates her. I'm actually very comfortable with that fact.

(I may or may not have just told that story like a 13 year old girl who reads Twilight (YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I SAID IT) but I'm okay with that))

And speaking of Twilight, I think I want to see it provided I'm like...drunk and looking for the lulz. Who is in?

On that note, I'm going to finish Wall-E. It's the most awesome movie and I still want a robot.

EPIC NEWS DAY IS EPIC

Even if it was obvious news.

So Lohan finally admitted to her relationship with Ronson, saying they've been going out for "a long time now," and thanked the radio host when he said he hopes they're happy together for a long time because they're a lovely couple.

And Clay Aiken is coming out in People magazine tomorrow.

EPIC OBVIOUS NEWS IS STILL EPIC.


Some kid just walked down my hallway singing, "Skunk in the barnyard, pee-yew. Somebody farted, that's you."

GET OUT.

Moving on.


So tomorrow I have an interview at Starbucks. Way to put my degree to good use, huh? Whatev, at least I'm helping The Recording Academy with some Grammy voting prep on Thursday...

(someone please hire me: music business, salary, benefits)

The Emmy's will only be absurd once. Unless you tape them

Emily: Do I really wanna end my House-a-thon for the Emmys in 10 mins?

Me: hm...I don't know

Me: I say maybe go for a bit and then you can always come back

Me: I mean, House will be there. The Emmy's will only be absurd once

Emily: lol

Emily: k

Emily: BLOG ABOUT THE AMEX

Me: lol

Me: OKAY

And here we are, blogging about the AmEx.

So about a week ago I was working at the coffee shop when this dude came in. It was raining, thanks to Hurricane Ike. (and on a sidenote there, i went golfing the day before and man oh man did I get soaked. I mean, not like a little bit wet but like, totes sopping, dripping wet. It made going to Meijers WICKED COLD. Nay, freezing. Just thought I should share)

So. Rewind a bit, to Sunday when it was rainy wet and Ike was raining like whoa. This guy came in with his son and bought a coffee (of some kind, it's been a week-I don't really remember transient details) and a hot chocolate for his son (but I do remember that). It was about 7 min to go in the fourth quarter of the Lions game-Man was that embarrassing-anyway. To make this story a bit shorter, he paid with an AmEx.

An AmEx black card.
Whoa.

So that's pretty much my story. Nutty, eh?

P.S.-They are made of titanium and feel funny. So there's that.

Well, you know what they say about high fructose corn syrup

I actually have no idea what it is they say about high fructose corn syrup, but those ads strike me as funny. With a little bit of imagination it goes from high fructose corn syrup to...
-"Well you know what they say about tall women, right?"
-"No, I honestly don't have a clue...what do they say?"
-"...They can reach the top shelf..."


Today I had my Chinese class and I didn't even have to go into work, which is always an exciting thing. For those not in the know, I work at a local coffee shop in town making tres chic beverages for peeps who love things like...a quad grande half caf skinny skinny soy vanilla bean with sugar free vanilla and a pump of...peppermint (or whatever). It really makes my morning, making these drinks.

Tomorrow-reports on the moron twins who sit behind me in French