OSCARS

TEAM WINSLET.

Also, I found my drinking game:

• Hugh Jackman makes a joke about Australia |
  
• Hugh Jackman breaks out into X-Men: The Musical | [close enough! "I am Wolveriiiiiine!" in the opening number!]
  
• Someone thanks their agent |
• ... thanks their spouse |||| ||||
• ... thanks their parents |||| ||
• ... thanks the cast/crew |||| |||| ||||
• ... says they don't know who to thank
• ... makes a veiled plea for work in the guise of a joke about a nominated director or producer
• ... pretends to buckle under the weight of the Oscar |
• Any trip or injury |
• Someone approvingly refers to Barack Obama |
• Someone makes a reference to the recession |
• A presenter muffs their lines |||
• Male presenter makes innuendo about attractive women
• Shot of Jack Nicholson laughing in the audience
• Kate Winslet says "Gather"
• Any award recipient cries |||
• A cutaway to anyone in the audience with an obviously faked grin
• The band plays someone off the stage |

Adapted from here.


|||| These are only the tallies that I caught. MAYBE THERE WERE MORE.

Wall-E

I'm sitting at home watching Wall-E and it occurs to me.

I want a robot.

Now that I've got that out of my system, let's move on.

Last week at the coffee shop a friend of the customer I was serving referred to me as "the help". Like, her friend was all "Hey how is it going? Is R or J here? (R and J being my boss) No? Oh well—I'll have a grande nonfat sugar bear (or whatever). And then her friend is all "Who are R and J?" and the first lady is all "Oh I just chat with them when they're here—we have conversations about business" and the second lady is all "Wow. You must be here a lot if you're on a first name basis with the help."

And I was like "Lady, your housekeeper hates you. The I'll-Kill-You-In-Your-Sleep kind of hates you". I know it's wrong to assume that she even has a housekeeper, but you know she does. And you know that her housekeeper hates her. I'm actually very comfortable with that fact.

(I may or may not have just told that story like a 13 year old girl who reads Twilight (YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I SAID IT) but I'm okay with that))

And speaking of Twilight, I think I want to see it provided I'm like...drunk and looking for the lulz. Who is in?

On that note, I'm going to finish Wall-E. It's the most awesome movie and I still want a robot.

I'm ready for "House"

$2.50 Searidge white zinfandel in a light-up glass, sharp cheddar cubes, and reduced-fat Wheat Thins