ALEXA IS COMING TO VISIT ME

YES. THAT IS RIGHT. Alexa has booked a flight to Los Angeles for February 27 - March 6.


Alexa: I AM GOING FIRST CLASS BIATCH

Me: DO IT
Alexa: Really?
Alexa: are you sure?
Alexa: AM I SIPPING CHAMPAGNE IN FIRST CLASS?


Now I have a few weeks to start a list of things Alexa has to see, as she prepares her tourist ideas to explore as well.


Alexa: Talk to you a lot later when we can compulsively plan every second
Alexa: And then throw it all out the window when I get there

This sums it up

Me: i feel terrible. kind of like han solo in that one scene from "the empire strikes back" where he comes back from the room with the needle-thingy and is all "i feel terrible" to both princess leia and chewbacca.

it's like that. and yes-i just made a wicked awesome star wars reference.

That is my away message.
It is so true.
I feel like death on a triscut. Will write something of substance when I find the will to live again

A brief recap of things I have done: the sequel

MY TURN.

So while I was home for Christmas, I developed a slight cough. No big deal, just a cold. WRONG. This was the Mysterious Illness of Almost Death.

Last weekend, when I thought I was dying of a cold and sore ("OMG did I bruise my lungs/ribs with all this coughing?") ribs, I finally decided to seek medical attention, AKA on Monday I went to a walk-in clinic. Apparently I was dying of bronchitis. I was promptly prescribed an epic antibiotic and cough syrup with codeine, AKA opiates.

I'm better-ish now. "Ish" because yesterday, I ran home during my lunch break to eat my leftover Chinese. While home, I coughed. And something popped (audibly) in my ribs. OWWW PAIN and spasming muscles. Went back to work, where I promptly burned my hand badly, worse than any other time. Ran hand under sink faucet for 15+ mins. Applied burn cream. More sink action. Finally resorted to a plastic glove with ice in it so I could continue to function. Came home. Had hand in a bowl of water forever. This means a combined FIVE HOURS OF WATER ON MY BURNED HAND, because otherwise it tingled like fire.

I'm pretty much falling apart.

Today my ribs still ache like I escaped from one of Jigsaw's crazy contraptions. And I still need to do video-instructed pilates with my roommate later. (We started because she got engaged like two days into the new year, and she needs a buddy so she can look good in a wedding dress.)

So until I work out (and then knock myself out with Tylenol PM and my cough syrup), I am making rice in my rice cooker, so I can use some of my leftover chinese takeout condiment packets...and watching Mythbusters. Always a good time.

A brief recap of things I have done

AKA shenanigans

So Friday I went to work not knowing what awesome sorts of things would befall me.
And by "awesome" I clearly mean "THEY DON'T PAY ME ENOUGH FOR THIS SHIT"

So. There is an employee at the delightful coffee shop I work at named....Scotty. For the fact that he's Scottish. And to protect the vaguely innocent. Moving on.
Scotty is useless. It took FOREVER to get him trained to do anything, like making the drinks OR brewing coffee (which you wouldn't think takes a rocket scientist, but on the other hand....)

The owners' mother came into work that day to generally mess with my sense of well being, psyche and rearrange the entire shop. I spent my day doing things like alphabetizing the coffees, tins of tea and making "Valentine's Day" baskets with the newly alphabetized products. All while trying to run the shop basically single handedly, as Scotty is as productive as a...I can't think of anything clever. But he doesn't do jack except brew coffee and make lattees. I spent my entire day trying to make 2 bagel sandwiches. I never got that far.

I also forgot to mention that it's a whopping 9 degrees. BELOW ZERO. The high point of the day was me trying to wash the windows (on the outside) and it all freezing. Scotty took a photo of me with his camera phone, thinking he was HILARIOUS. My face is all screwed up with what could be mistaken as concentration. In reality I was trying to blow him up with my mind. Much to my dismay, it didn't work.

In vaguely related news to the coffee shop, I have an epic crush on one of the other employees. He's 18. Hence Emily's previous post and the "cougar" comments. He's tall. That's all I have to say about that.
I also work with him tomorrow. So there's that.

A glimpse into our intelligent conversations

Me (5:24:20 PM): you cougar
Alexa (5:24:23 PM): I KNOW
Alexa (5:24:28 PM): I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF
Alexa (5:24:31 PM): MAKE IT STOP
Me (5:24:35 PM): PLZ CAN THIS BE BLOGGED?
Me (5:24:55 PM): (I mentally pronounced that as "blogg-ed," like Shakespeare)
Alexa (5:25:00 PM): HAHAHAHA

I LOVE KATE WINSLET

I keep rewatching this...and DYING every time she goes on about her love for Leo.

"Leo, I'm so happy I can stand here and tell you how much I love you, and how much I've loved you for 13 years...I love you with all my heart, I really do."

DYING.



Revolutionary Road was so good. Intense, but so good.


(KATE + LEO 4EVER)

So there's that

Christmas and New Years and whatever. It happened, it's past.

I'm now currently expressing a serious pet peeve.

I hate it beyond words themselves when people come over to my house to do nothing but sit under blankets. Nay not sit. DIVE UNDER THEM. As if they've never seen a blanket or been warm or produced their own body heat in their entire life. GROW A PAIR MAN. Or wear a sweatshirt or something.

Just get out from under the blanket. You'll live-I promise.

It annoys me immensely. If you want to nap, go fucking sleep at your own house and don't bother me.

You may now return to things that bother me less.

Confession

Alexa and I are reading PDF versions of the Twilight saga.

It's time we truly experience the full absurdity. We've read the parodies, Alexa has seen the movie (for free, though), and all the Twilight fangirl flair on Facebook is driving me crazy.

So far, Chapter 1 has read like a middle-school girl's short story writing assignment.