The Olympics are back.
So I'm back.
OPENING CEREMONY
8:07 Dancing with space blankets! Look at all the foil!
8:09 Oh. Space pillows.
8:13 BRAZIL'S NATIONAL ANTHEM. WE ARE IN BRAZIL.
8:20 Rainforest things...
8:21 OOOH RAINFOREST DANCERS
8:23 I admit that I am a little distracted because I ordered KFC via Postmates and I'm tracking my delivery progress on my phone. I AM HANGRY. I will have no filler commentary until I am no longer so hangry.
8:27 I like this shipwreck immigration choreo thingy.
8:32 My chicken is here! What did I miss?
8:35 Now we're in a video game! I dig it.
8:40 I missed a little more because I sat on my mashed potatoes and had to change my pajamas. Cool.
8:44 GISELE! Just struttin'.
8:45 ...Just struttin'? Still struttin'?
8:48 YEEESSS sliding down from this street dancing set-up! Dudes on a slide! On a roller thingy!
8:50 So, sidenote. I've been calling this since the women's gymnastics national competition before the Olympic qualifier. LAURIE HERNANDEZ, right??! Her and Simone Biles in the All-Around: a shocking upset for Aly. Maybe? Or if not, girl is going to continue to get some serious attention. Love her.
8:55 I love all the Brazilians (including Gisele) losing their minds singing and dancing to this song.
9:06 Gimme my parade of nations already.
9:10 OHHH YESSS WOMEN'S GYMNASTICS 2012 RECAP / INTRO TO THE 2016 TEAM
9:14 PARADE. OF. NATIONS.
9:16 I seriously always love seeing the athletes loving this ceremony. Cameras, phones, joyous faces, waving...it's real and exciting!
9:22 YES, Aruba! Those costumes!
9:23 Independent Olympic Athletes!
9:29 Whoa, Barbados. Those jackets.
9:32 YESSSS BERMUDA
9:36 Burundi is really pretty.
9:40 OHH CANADAAAA
9:42 Cayman Islands crew looks cute.
9:54 Croatia's checkerboard clothing!
10:07 U-S-A! U-S-A! AMERICA! U-S-A!
10:54 I got distracted by my bunnies and my whiteboard. Still watching!
11:07 How long until Tonga? I'm on a west coast delay. Shirtless dude hasn't even appeared on my TV yet, and he's already a social media sensation.
11:31 THERE HE IS!
11:43 Refugee team!
11:45 BRAZIIIIIILLLL!