Michael Jackson died 3 weeks ago...

...and I'm still not okay with that.

I was already nearby on June 25. When my mother and sister told me about MJ, I ran down the street to UCLA Medical Center and joined the crowd surrounding the reporters (who were still setting up). It was madness. One guy near me at one point brought his iPod and portable speaker dock, and blasted "Heal the World."




I went back to my Buzz Aldrin book signing after about an hour in the crowd. Once that ended, I went back. Some of the chaos had cleared, but the fans were still coming out...and so were the reporters. I was even near a broadcast for a French station.







And if that wasn't enough, the following night I walked over to the Jackson family home (apparently I've lived less than two miles away and never knew that before).






I wanted so badly to get tickets to his funeral/memorial (as all my friends/coworkers could tell you), but alas, the lottery system hated me. Even when there was a rumor of a Neverland memorial on Friday 7/3, I was trying to get my work shift covered and rent a car to go. (That wasn't meant to be either.)

I've been listening to an unhealthy amount of Michael Jackson's music since then, though. I'm not okay with this happening.

Post Birthday Wrap Up

So yesterday was my birthday. Turned a whopping 23 years old. Yes, I know-Oh being 23.

I've had a hard time accepting this birthday for no particular reason. I think it's the fact that I feel like a bit of a failure. I graduated college, got a degree with honors and thusly set off into the world to be a grown up.

I then moved home with my parents, got a job at a coffee shop and took up ballroom dancing. Things haven't been good, they haven't been bad, but due to the expectations I've put upon myself I feel as though things haven't gone the way they should have. I know it was a bit of bad luck to graduate when I did, through no particular fault of my own. The world has taken a bit of a turn for the ridiculous, especially here in Michigan.

I know that the last few weeks I set into a bit of a depression, and I'm trying to come out of it. Currently it's through doing little things like wearing pretty colors when I'm not at work, reading good books and watching things like "Bridget Jones' Diary", and that whole thing is going get its own entry.

---P.S.-The birthday was good, and now I've got Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, which is fantastic.